On Grief

Grief at its root is an expression of love. This is why the feeling of grief never leaves us—because when we lose someone it does not mean we stop loving them. Our love may go on forever. Not only is grief representative of the love we have for another, and the love between us, but grief is a reflection of our capacity for love. It is a reflection of our humanity, and its depth.

The work of grief then is not about making our love disappear, but about recognizing it for what it is, a deep well of love and the trueness of our humanity. In witnessing this truth, we feel it, and in our hearts we can steer away from the harshest memories, asking them to soften, and strengthening the memories that fill us with undeniable love.

We can ask ourselves:  What kind of relationship do I want with the one I have lost? How do I carry them in my heart now? How do I grieve in a way that both honors our relationship and gives it space to continue in a different form? How can I allow grief to be a reflection of truth and my tender nature?

Grief then begins to serve as a reminder of who we are, and how well we love. We watch it transform from something unbearable, into a glimmer of hope, preciousness, life, and remembrance.